I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
