Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
