thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
