im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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