I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
