This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
