i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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