There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
