Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
