when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
