Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
