yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want her autograph on my taint
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
