okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
