ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
