Your mouth is God's brothel.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
