yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
