i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
