she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
