You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
