and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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