I hate all girls vehemently.
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
