Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
