He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think people are normalizing furries
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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