This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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