8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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