you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
