areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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