Please, let me fuck your mom
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
