bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
