How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
