yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
