Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
