just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I AM VODKA MAN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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