i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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