we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Welp...herpes.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
