I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
