You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
