Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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