how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
