i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
