I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't deserve a penis
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
