YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
