I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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