is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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