God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
