It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My vagina is very pro this idea
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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