Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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