One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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