He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
