the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
