hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
