I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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